Birthday Suit

No, not THAT kind of birthday suit. Git yer gutter-mind up hyah on the sidewalk with the rest of us. Yesterday was my birthday and how did I spend it? In a suit. THIS kind of suit.

Despite the fact that ZP had a three-shot-doctor's appointment, that Gojira was in town to play, that it's the end of the fiscal year and everyone is scrambling to wrap things up, and that I should have spend the day being feted by co-workers, friends, and family, I had to go to the Trademark Trial and Appeal Board to attend a high-tech, three-judge-panel, completely unnecessary video hearing. I celebrated my day of birth by reviewing notes and going over my brief. I rang in a new age by squeezing into a freshly ironed suit and suddenly too-small shoes (yes, folks, pregnancy does have some permanent body-altering surprises that go beyond your belly and reach your feet).

So that you don't pity me too much, I will admit that the day had some positive attributes. Having already placed my order for a morning frappucino, I stood in line waiting to pay and when the cashier finally showed up and asked if I had already paid, I responded with "no not yet, but today's my birthday so you can give it to me for free if you want." To which the cashier responded, "okay." Score! I also got a birthday lunch and a few prezzies at work. But the highlight of the day was when Gojira and I got home, I played Brain Age until the crew showed up and we feasted on Thai food and chocolate cake and ZP even ate some stir fried rice and did not show any ill effects from his doctor's visit earlier in the day. The plus of having a birthday during the week is that you get to lay claim to the entire week. So let the birthday wishes begin!

Also, check it! Hijabman's product (and his chin, it appears) made it onto the Colbert Report! Check out the "Muslim Hipsters" link after the short Missy commercial.

Happy talk, keep talkin' happy talk

It's a gloomy, rainy, somber day today. So, let's lighten the mood with some happy talk, yes yes?

For my Muslim friends, early Ramdan Mubarak!
For my Jewish friends, early Hag Sameach!
For my Xtian friends, early Merry Xmas!

We just returned from a trip to North Carolina and between the petting zoo and the noticeable absence of mosquitoes, I can chalk this trip up to a success. Here's a pix of brave ZP approaching a big doggies with sawed-off horns.




I've signed up to participate in the "Pay it Forward" campaign that I learned about via wayfarer. Here's the deal: I'll send a gift to the first 3 people who leave a comment on my blog requesting to join this PIF exchange! I don't know what that gift will be yet, and you may not receive it tomorrow or even next week, but you will receive it within 365 days. The only thing you have to do in return is pay it forward by making the same promise on your blog.

My friends and I are having a Cookie Party tomorrow. On deck: peanut butter snickers cookies. Let's get ready to crrrrrumble!

Recently borrowed and finished reading The Areas of My Expertise by John Hodgman and then ordered a copy for myself. Yeah. It was that good.

So, that's my good news. Also, this. Heh. Your turn!

Happy happy joy joy

Happy Anniversary, TP! Can you believe it's been three years (plus or minus nine years)? Hope I get to see you for a minute or two today. xoxo, me

scrantonicity

Random Bits

• My new favorite show that I've never seen a full episode of but have seen various clips: Flight of the Conchords
• Going to visit my in-laws next week - about time I got a hair cut
• Excited about Heroes Season Two starting up again
• Crostini and Labne - *contented sigh*
• Anthony Bourdain's non-fiction is decidedly better-written and more enjoyable than his fiction
• Going to see Sensai Abez avec HF Rat e Bebe Rat soon! Woot!
• If the Metro keeps catching on fire, I may have to demand to work from home sooner than I'm allowed.
• Treated myself to some Fresh Pink Jasmine Soap - smell me now, sukkahs!
• Getting anxious about our trip to Pakistan with ZP - any suggestions on food/sleep/play?
• Werner Hertzog is freaky
• Why, oh, why do the fattest people insist on sitting next to, if not directly on, me in the metro?

hi-yah!

Currently reading Comedy by the Numbers: The 169 Secrets of Humor and Popularity by Eric Hoffman and Gary Rudoren. Hee!

Currently listening to The Best of Elvis Costello: The First 10 Years by Elvis Costello. Woo!

Currently eating Trader Joe's Mac and Chee. Yum!

Currently watching Aliens in America. Hee!

Also, if you ever considered messing with me, please be aware that I am B.A.J.I. and you may want to reconsider.

Get Your Cyborg Name

Dog Days of Summer

With outside temps threatening to reach a 110 degree heat index, I think I will spend most of my day inside the air-conditioned confines of my office. That said, I don't feel like working right now. I need to catch up on e-mails, phone calls, and the like, but I'll start with me blog since it has been sorely neglected.

Um.

So, yeah, the newunion was fantastic. I can't report on the NY-NJ-PA leg since I wasn't there, but the DC portion was chock full o' laughs, ice cream, used books, photos, and late nights. Those who were up early got to walk to the neighborhood bagelry and hit up Safeway for breakfast fixin's (including, but not limited to, New York Super Fudge Chunk pints of ice cream that were inexcusably overlooked). Those who were up late got to enter into Scrabbie competitions and gup shup sessions that, on at least one occassion, featured a surprise guest appearance by 2 Scoops himself.

Oh, sure, the DC Fringe Festival was going on. Yeah, the national museums, zoo, and botanical gardens were within easy reach. But what did we do instead? Hit the Diner right around the corner and gorge. Lounge around Dupont Circle with used books. Send the girls off to walk to Georgetown and the waterfront while the boys and I and LB headed back to nap and/or read HP. At least on the drive to Eastern Market I got to point out the landmarks and monuments so that they felt that they were in the nation's capital instead of just any old city. Still, for a tiny weekend, we managed to pack in a lot of stuff: eating, walking, and bonding. Good times.

Meanwhile, in our daily lives, not much has changed. I'm still trudging to work and looking forward to the day when my commute will be 45 seconds instead of 45 minutes each way. TP has been keeping busy with work and a surprising influx of requests for interviews. ZP has graduated from toddling to walking to running. We had a visit from the folks and the Admiral last weekend. We'll be heading out to NC for a visit with TP's folks in a few weeks. And before you know it, we'll be breaking in ZP brand-new, fancy-pants, biodata-privacy-invading, high-tech passport on our way to Pakistan.


UPDATE: Ever wonder how to perform the elegant "Berries and Cream" dance? Wonder no more.

Newunion 007

DeGrouchyOwl: 7071.7 miles. Love your cynicism, your wit, and your ability to down a sour-cherry pie with a planet-sized scoop of vanilla ice cream in nearly two bites.

Yasmine: 2434.1 miles. Love your obsession with books, your gleeful energy, and if there was ever an eyebrow throwdown between yours and Hijabmans, your eyebrows would totally crush his and laugh while his eyebrows wept.

TwoScoops: 2276.4 miles. Love your goofiness, your insane stories of attempting to drown others, and your limitless ability to laugh at yourself and others.

Anju: 198.3 miles. Love your sweetness with ZP, your uncomplaining nature with respect to pull-out couches in the middle of room, and your skillful ability to herd Yasmine through Eastern Market.

Hijabman: 121.5 miles. Love your chill attitude, your rockstar status of being recognized several times a day, and your unyielding conviction that it's perfectly cromulent to sing Celine Dion outloud in front of others.

Najm: 14.1 miles. Love your random observations, your voice during prayers, and your willingness to let ZP attempt to tear your beard out.

It was such a fantastic visit and I still can't believe we pulled it off. We missed Chai and HBiddy and Izbot and Shaheen and Abez, but thought of them often. Thanks for the good times, gang. And for the rockin' thank you card - seriously, I was touched. Door's open for ye anytime. Come back soon!

xoxo, Baji

monster mash birthday bash

Happy Birthday to TP and Najm! May your Bastilley Birthdays be rife with crepes, cafe, and lots of cadeaux!

Feelin' Hot Hot Hot

It's going to hit about 100 degrees today. I feel like Elphaba right after Dorothy threw the bucket of water on her: "I'm melting! I'm melting! What a world . . . what a world."

Also, Georgia was tremendously fun with a birthday party for the Admiral, quality time spent with the fam, and a tear-free introduction of ZP to the swimming pool complete with toys, splashing of toes, and yazz flute.

Also, can't wait for the upcoming newunion! Maybe I can convince Yasmine to teach ZP the ways of the daggerchappals, Anju to donate some of her frequent flyer miles to me, Najm to bring me cannolis, Taha to show up finally, jeez, and Hijabman to install a jet engine into my brand new iMac.

your turn

It was LB's birthday this weekend (yes, the whole weekend).
It will be TP's birthday soon (and yes, Najm-the-vanished too).
It will be my Dadaji's birthday sooner than that (Georgia, here we come!)
End of the quarter rush at work.
Four gallons of paint waiting to be applied to the living room and dining room.
New flowers dying of thirst in this hot hot city.
Blogistan reunion (or a newunion since I haven't actually met half of my crackstar buddies in real life) coming up!

Soooo . . . what mischief are you up to these days?

sunny day, sweeping the clouds awaaaay

ZP slept from 8:30 p.m. to 6:00 a.m. without getting up once.
I slept from 9:00 p.m. to 5:30 a.m. without getting up once.
I don't remember the last time that happened.

I woke up refreshed.
I took a nice, leisurely shower.
I had a cup of espresso (courtesy of my brand new espresso machine).
I didn't have to rush around to pack my lunch because we have a two-hour meeting today that will include cake and pizza.
I walked to the Metro in the bright sun-shiney day.
The train was just pulling up as I came down the escalator.
I got a seat near a clean (i.e., not filmy with other passenger's oily hair grease) window.
As I crossed into Virginia and watched the morning sun glint off of the Potomac River, I heard the lyrics "The sky is open-armed" and wanted to yell, "hellz yeah!"


See the world in green and blue
See China right in front of you
See the canyons broken by cloud
See the tuna fleets clearing the sea out
See the Bedouin fires at night
See the oil fields at first light
And see the bird with a leaf in her mouth
After the flood all the colors came out

SpiderBaby

Welcome, True Believers! When we last left our hero, he had just turned one year old. His rite of passage was replete with trials, tribulations, and rewards. Pleasure came in the form of visits from his family and friends who showered him with love and prezzies at a gala affair held at LB and KG's place. Pain came in the form of a shot in the forearms and two in the turkeythighs. Insult was added to injury when his caretaker accidentally locked herself out of the house with our hero trapped inside the house for about an hour. His indignation was made quite apparent by his high-decibel vocal protests. Let's just say that he could be heard from across the street and leave it at that.

Nonetheless, our hero eventually overcame these obstacles and sallied forth bravely into his first year. He cruised in his TEK 911 police car up and down the streets of the neighborhood to warn evil-doers of his presence. With the help of his loyal sidekicks, he climbed the stairs of justice . . . well, at least he climbed the stairs. He patrolled his park and watched over its denizens with a careful eye that missed nothing.

This morning, I discovered not one, not two, but three spider bites on his tiny, fat foot. After staring dully at the red, swollen spots for a moment, trying to fathom how any creature would DARE to bite ZP (myself excluded), I put some ointment on the bites and (fakey fake) Dr. TP gave him some antihistamines.

I'm not sure what kind of spider bit him, but I'll just say this:

Later in the morning, we were assisting our hero in standing and, on a whim, tried to coax him to come to one of us while the other was prepared to catch him if he fell. After a few failed attempts, he did it. He walked. On his own. About three steps each time.

"Oh my GOD! It must have been a radioactive spider that bit him because now he has superpowers!" I exclaimed.

"With great power comes great responsibility," TP responded. "Now he has to do the dishes."

Birthday Numero Uno

Happy One Year Birthday, Zainy Zoo! Three hundred and sixty-five days ago, you made your grand entrance onto the world's stage. Back then, you were just a tight ball full of baby fat, milk, and warmth, but not much else. Oh wait. The poop. Can't forget the poop. My God, the poop. I mean, honestly, how can such a tiny baby contain so much poop? Um. Where was I? Oh yeah, your growth and personality development since then have been staggering. You can talk, mostly about daddy (a.k.a. Daiwoo), your nanny (a.k.a. Tia), and doggies and kitties (a.k.a. Aiiiiii! Daiiiii! Kaiiii!). You can recognize the opening music to the Colbert Report and seemingly enjoy the jokes that we laugh at while watching it before bedtime. You love bedtime reading, even though some nights you are more interested in turning the pages yourself than you are hearing how the story ends. Luckily, I already know what happens in Goodnight Gorilla, so I don't mind you skipping pages, flipping the book upside down for a good gnawing, and then jumping to the end.

The playground is once again yours now that summer has arrived. You are equally enamored of sliding and swinging as you are watching other children do the same. Ever the gracious host, you proudly display your toys to all guests and then allow them to share them with you and play nicely. The only caveat to that last statement is if anyone dares to build a structure equal to or more than two blocks high, you are compelled to race over and destroy it, all Gojira-like.

For my very first Mother's Day, you gave me exactly what I asked for: you slept through the entire night. Next time, I'll know to ask for more! Your teeth are coming in quite nicely and I hope that the nightly brushing routine (sung to the "brusha brusha brusha, brush your little teeth" tune) stays with you. Still a gigantic fan of Cheerios, you have finally expanded your culinary repertoire to include falafel, latkes, and toasted rosemary sourdough bread. Although you have your moments of grumpiness, peevishness, and outright fury (especially when you spy your pacifier on the couch and can't reach it), for the most part, you are a happy, funny baby. You know that your father gets a kick out of you blowing raspberries and saturating anyone within a two-foot radius and so, when you remember, you begin your show with gusto just to get him to laugh. Woe is me for being in the path of your slobber. Still too macho to give me a proper smooch, your recent attempts which involve more teeth than lips, are still savored. You like to be scared, you like to be tickled, and you like to hang upside down like the monkey on one of your shirts.


You have changed our lives and made them fuller and richer. You are a joy to your grandparents, aunts, uncles, and friends. You are healthy, clever, and have excellent taste in parents. We love you to pieces, even when, and sometimes especially when, you are a beast. Happy Birthday, me wee one! Now get over here and give us all a hug!

Schrute v Ninja

Good advice from Dwight: Ninja Preparedness

Pandi's 'Pinions

Between baby, work, allergies, Cressie's brakes being shot, and house stuff, there's no time to read, reflect, and review! Anyway.

Books: Empire Falls by Richard Russo was a much more enjoyable, but in the same vein, book as The Shipping News by E. Annie Proulx's. In an attempt not to give anything away, it was a nice glimpse into a small northern town and its quirky inhabitants but it was disconcerting to read the climactic ending in light of recent real-life events. Is that cryptic enough for ya?

Music: Love this song, Lazy Eye, by the Smashing-Pumpkins-reincarnated band Silversun Pickups. Ah, the 90s.

TV: GAH! Only a handful of episodes left in Heroes! What's going to happen?! Is Peter going to explode but Nathan will grab him, fly him into space, and thus save New York and redeem himself? How will Hiro repair his broken sword to kill Sylar before Sylar begins his massacre? Will they (hopefully) kill off Nikki/Jessica, DL, and Micah before they annoy me to death?

Food: Santa Fe BBQ Rice Chips. A+

Boomerang

In the 1950s, my grandfather attended the Queen of England's coronation in Westminster Abbey. Five decades later, my grandfather-in-law is going to meet her when she comes to D.C. to meet World War II veterans. But before that, she'll be in my hometown(ish) of Louisville, KY for the Derby. Hey, Cybermom, if you see her, tell her we said, "hi" and "bring some derby pie for us when you get back!"

Excuse for Shopping

Yes, kids, it's true. Having a child will change you: physically, mentally, emotionally, economically, and spiritually. I was prepared for most of it. But the physical changes? I'm still not wrapping my head around that. I used to be skinny. Not slender. Not willowy. Not any other slimming poetic something or other. Skinny. As in, my clavicle was like a wire hanger. As in, I could fit into size 0 - 2 jeans. As in, if I turned sideways, I would disappear.

But then I hit 30 and my metabolism plummeted. Add to that the fact that I hated exercise but didn't change my eating habits. Stir in one baby and you've got the new me: tossing out my too-tight clothes, shopping for a bigger size shoe, and still not grasping that my body has changed so much that not only my belly, but my shoulders and hips and feet have morphed.

I kind of like having a little shelf (formerly known as my washboard abs) upon which to rest ZP when I'm carrying him around. But with the summer season fast approaching, I'm thinking that these bulky sweaters and eye-distracting layers are not going to be helping me much. Still, I really do hate exercising. Honestly, the only time I don't mind running is if someone is chasing me or if I am chasing someone. I was forced to play sports in high school (softball and field hockey) but once I was free of the requirements, I was quite content to count among the most strenuous of activities a vigorous Scrabble match. I've started walking to the Metro now which, in addition to the walk from the Metro to work, gives me about half an hour of fast-paced exercise. Isn't that enough? *sigh*

One of my Favorite Bandarikja

Top Five Reasons Why I Love Visits From Gojira:

5. She joins in with loudly clapping and lustily singing "Berries and Cream" while TP is on an important phone call with a professor from Georgetown.

4. She doesn't mind reading alone on the couch while TP, ZP, LB, and I take naps in the middle of the afternoon.

3. Get to recommend literature, reminisce about past travel adventures, and discuss celebrity plastic surgery in one conversation.

2. She makes an excellent nanny/playmate for ZP.

1. Get to talk in a Scottish accent morning, noon, and night without pause and without thinking.

Welcome to the Palindrome!

Happy Double Ones! Today, you turned 11 months old. You have become quite adept at using your TEK 911 police mobile unit as a walker and despite the obnoxious sirens and nasally mid-western voice of "Mommy" that blasts from the infernal contraption (padding and duct tape have only minimally reduced the decibles), you seem to favor it above all other toys. You can make your way confidently across the room and upon hearing praise ("Good job, Zibou Sisou!"), you immediately stop in your tracks, plop yourself down, and applaud yourself. The cuteness of it all almost overwhelms me.

Although you are capable of standing on your own - I've seen you do it when you were so distracted that you didn't notice that both hands were on the toy instead of one hand on the toy and one hand on the couch/chair/my leg/my face) - you still don't feel comfortable going it alone. Your other favorite toys (both favorites) are a collection of bright plastic geometric shapes that all turn into piercing arrows when it is dim and we are walking around shoeless.

We had a rough couple of weeks when you were hit with a triple-whammy of (1) a stomach virus, (2) a cold, and (3) teething. You slept badly, had no appetite, and were not your usual playful self. As much as I enjoyed your uncharacteristic cuddliness (usually, you are too macho to want to snuggle with us), I felt badly about your condition and only wished that I could suffer for you so you would not have to. Alas, only the first part of that wish came true - I did get to suffer alongside you when you shared your cold with me. Luckily, we seem to be pretty much out of the woods now and as soon as this annoyingly clingy winter passes and summer comes to town, we'll be able to enjoy some more outside time.

You are still a big fan of Cheerios but lately you have been less than thrilled to eat anything else. Each descent into the high-chair is met with shrieks and tears until the first taste of something sweet. Then, you reluctantly eat your food but after halfway, you push the spoon away and/or act like you are gagging and it's just not good times. Once you are released, you excitedly make a lap around the family room before settling down and playing with someone's toes.

Um, sorry about that homemade haircut, me love. I promise, it was not my attempt to make you look like Jim Carrey in "Dumb and Dumber." I was just trying to get the hair out of your eyes. Instead, I replaced your baby wisps with a jacked up bowl. Then, after much reprimand from TP and LB, we took you to a professional to minimize the damage. You were fantastic at the salon and did not make a single peep while the Hispanic woman buzzed you. Now, like many a Pakistani baby, you are sporting a severe military haircut. Apologies, G.I. Zoo. Hopefully, it will grow out by the time your one-year birthday rolls around. Regardless, you are still super duper, A number one, hard-core adorable to me.

Am I Too Mahhhdren?

Arey, you are 52% Pakistani!

Shabash puut, your score puts you in the ranks of the REAL Pakistanis! Have some lassi to celebrate - maybe it'll encourage your true character to come out more often.

How Pakistani are you? (first class number one!)
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