SpiderBaby

Welcome, True Believers! When we last left our hero, he had just turned one year old. His rite of passage was replete with trials, tribulations, and rewards. Pleasure came in the form of visits from his family and friends who showered him with love and prezzies at a gala affair held at LB and KG's place. Pain came in the form of a shot in the forearms and two in the turkeythighs. Insult was added to injury when his caretaker accidentally locked herself out of the house with our hero trapped inside the house for about an hour. His indignation was made quite apparent by his high-decibel vocal protests. Let's just say that he could be heard from across the street and leave it at that.

Nonetheless, our hero eventually overcame these obstacles and sallied forth bravely into his first year. He cruised in his TEK 911 police car up and down the streets of the neighborhood to warn evil-doers of his presence. With the help of his loyal sidekicks, he climbed the stairs of justice . . . well, at least he climbed the stairs. He patrolled his park and watched over its denizens with a careful eye that missed nothing.

This morning, I discovered not one, not two, but three spider bites on his tiny, fat foot. After staring dully at the red, swollen spots for a moment, trying to fathom how any creature would DARE to bite ZP (myself excluded), I put some ointment on the bites and (fakey fake) Dr. TP gave him some antihistamines.

I'm not sure what kind of spider bit him, but I'll just say this:

Later in the morning, we were assisting our hero in standing and, on a whim, tried to coax him to come to one of us while the other was prepared to catch him if he fell. After a few failed attempts, he did it. He walked. On his own. About three steps each time.

"Oh my GOD! It must have been a radioactive spider that bit him because now he has superpowers!" I exclaimed.

"With great power comes great responsibility," TP responded. "Now he has to do the dishes."