Just got back from a shopping trip to Whole Foods where, of course, I can't leave without dropping less than $50 when RASSIN' FRASSIN' WHAT THE SHAQ KIND OF STUPID IDIOT PUT THE WORST OF ALL CHOCOLATE BARS (honestly, who likes milk chocolate bars - not only that, but milk chocolate with puffed rice - gotta be the most boring combination ever) IN THE CONTAINER FOR THE ONE OF THE BEST OF ALL CHOCOLATE BARS (although, I must admit that I prefer this over that). Excuse me while I weep bitter tears.

My co-workers are planning a baby shower for me. I'm pleased, but uncertain about it. It was thoughtful of them and more people than I expected are eager to attend but I've never been an attention-monger and feel awkward when the spotlight is on me. Growing up, I was always the back-row-in-the-classroom type. Left of center. Part of the nerd crew. I got along with everyone, but compared to some (i.e., LB), I was not very social. I'm happy making friends with whomever happens to sit next to me, but I'm loathe to get up and introduce myself to new people. Maybe that's just slacker laziness or fear of forcing my company upon someone who does not want it, but there you have it.

So it surprised me when my co-worker called me to ask when a good day for the shower would be. I've helped her and several others cope with work and played the therapist when she has come weeping on more than one occassion. (*flashback to the days when I was working in the law firm and had a long, low black couch in my office that my Palestinian/Tunisian friend used to frequent by lying down and spilling her woes to me*). Somehow, my office has become the equivalent of the student lounge where, anytime people get bored or feel like socializing, they congregate in my office to eat snacks, chat about work or gossip, and kick back. So it's not that I don't think people don't like me (how can they resist?), it's just that I didn't think anyone would want to make an effort like this. Part of my reluctance is that because the party is for me, I'll be the center and therefore must speak to everyone, including people I don't care to make an effort to get to know better. Part of my reluctance is that because I'll be the center, so will my belly and everyone will stare at it and perhaps try to sneak a rub in (no joke, the cashier at the bagel place I sometimes stop by in the mornings saw me, greeted me, and then rubbed my belly and walked on). I don't know what it is, but perhaps with the little sleep, the lot of aches, and the anxiety of moving/selling with the unknown baby stuff looming ahead, I'm not in the mood to put on a party hat and play silly games. Ah well. At least there will be cake.

Four weeks until lift off. Is the baby's room ready? No. Is the house ready? No. Are we ready? *shrug*.

"Have you picked out a theme for the nursery?"
"Yeah, boxes."

While LB and Gunnar are cruising down the canals of Venice in a gondola, TP and I are making do with one car (not too bad, actually), trying to sell our old house (in the second stage of counter-offering with one dude right now), planting fig trees at the new house (already saw one little baby fig emerging!), and working down to the wire. In the few free moments I have when I am not packing or visiting with friends (it's not even May and visiting season has begun), I'm finally watching Lost on dee-wee-dee. It's 6:30 a.m. right now and I've been up for over an hour because it has become increasingly difficult to find a comfortable position in which to sleep. I hear last night's pizza calling me now and so away I go.

The tent has come down, the couple is wed, and the guests have gone home. The wedding was fantastic, the food delish, and now, we update!

Top Five Top Five:

Top Five Typical Pakistani Inappropriate Comments Made

1. "The government doesn't pay their employees very much, do they? How much do you make?"
2. "How much weight have you gained?"
3. "You should wax your arms; it's your wedding day!" (response: "no, I don't think so.") "Yes, you should wax your arms."
4. "Every time I see you, you are eating."
5. "I didn't get a wedding invitation. Where and when is it?"

Top Five Ailments

1. Achy-breaky back
2. Ribs crushed in the attempt to wear pre-pregnancy lengha above 8 month pregnant belly
3. No rest for the wicked because in order to spend time with the grandfathers, you have to be up at 6 a.m. and in order to hang with the cousins, you have to be up until 2 a.m.
4. Diabetic coma after eating all the food and sweets and the snacks that Cybermom is notorious for scattering throughout the house
5. Marshmallow toes from flying and standing so much

Top Five Lessons Learned

1. Don't get nails done with LB because you will inevitably get the bad guy
2. Don't let Aunty Yaz sit in a rickety chair
3. Don't tell Nanaji you will bring 4 of the Harry Potter books to him unless you actually have them in hand
4. Don't park your van in the soggy grass the evening after a tornado warning and hard rain
5. Don't get a sari blouse that closes with tiny hooks that are supposed to hang onto teeny bits of thread but don't

Top Five Foods Had

1. Dehi Vada
2. Wedding cake
3. Big, juicy dates that you can eat with a knife and fork
4. Palak
5. Goat meat
   

Top Five Moments of the Wedding Weekend

1. The Qs and O Bro's comedy routine
2. Noozle's singing "Summertime" just for LB
3. All of LB's friends in one place laughing, eating, and enjoying themselves
4. The dancing at the mehndi and when the music kept stopping and starting, hearing Aunty Yaz's exclaim during one of the moments of silence in her piercing voice "SOMETHING'S WRONG!"
5. Gunnar's maiyoun dancing and wedding speech

"So, Baji, how've you been?"
"Well, do you want the pat and generic 'I'm fine, thanks, and you?' answer or do you want the long, drawn-out melodrama?"
"Oooh! Melodrama, please!"
"So be it."

Saturday:

The good news:

• LB and I spent a nice sister's morning as we haven't done in a long time complete with perfect eyebrows, fresh "masala bagels," and Smallville.
• Our house went up for sale and even though the open house isn't until next week, we already got four interested buyers.
• Got to see Literaunty, Literuncle, and Dadaji for brunch.

The bad news:

• We didn't realize buyers were coming to the house already so we had to do a whirlwind cleaning job on the house before they did.
• That evening, TP's car got totalled by an unlicensed, uninsured driver who sped through an intersection, clipped one old lady's car and careened into TP's parked car - crushing the sides and forcing it up onto the sidewalk before it came to a stop thanks to the stone wall and the Jeep in front of it.
• We spent four hours filing the police report on the hit-and-run-and-return (the driver fled because he was scared but shame-facedly returned with his brother, the true owner of the car), and waiting for the tow truck to drag the car's carcass from off of the sidewalk and back onto the street.

Gotta end on a good note:

• We weren't in the car when the accident happened.
• We met a lot of our neighbors.
• When we turned away from the flashing lights of the cop cars, we could see the Cherry Blossom Festival's fireworks downtown.

Sunday:

The good news:

• More realtors and buyers wanted to see the house so we made ourselves scarce by going to the Admo house to water the daffodils, put some books on the shelves, and walk over to our new 'hood for some coffee and fries - breakfast of champs!
• Saw "V for Vendetta" at the Uptown (a lovely old theater which I have not visited in ages) and was pleased by it.
• I got to have a cheese-and-avacado sammich for dinner followed by pretty much a whole pint of Haagen-Dazs Raspberry Sorbet

The bad news:

• I also ate some other leftover foods for dinner which I did not nuke long enough and which returned with a vendetta at midnight in the form of a bout of food poisoning puking.
• The insurance company of the driver's brother refused to tow the car to a lot before they sent out a claims adjuster out . . . some day.
• In reading "Broken Verses," I came across an unforgivable passage where the protaganist "pushed open the door that led out to the balcony and breathed deep the carbon dioxide expelled by the plants around me."

Gotta end on a good note:

• Our new house only has one parking spot in the back so maybe it's just as well we have only one car now.
• One of the potential buyers for the house from the day before returned with her husband and baby for a second look.
• TP impressed me and won a little bit more of my undying love by washing out the garbage can (into which I expelled the contents of my stomach - careful careful! ulti hai!) with not mere soap, but peppermint-scented soap so that the second time around, at least I had a fresh scent to greet me.

Monday:

The good news:

• Lil' Baji and Gunnar got married (just the civil ceremony, folks; the big one is this weekend)!
• I got to talk to KK about books and movies and books.
• I found some inexpensive but cute pregnancy clothing to wear this weekend that has the potential for being post-pregnancy clothing too.

The bad news:

• The tow truck that was supposed to come at noon came at 11:30 instead so TP had to wait another two hours for another truck to come and scrape his car off of our road only to find out that the body shop where the car was to be deposited was run by a freak who, upon seeing the damage to the car, refused to accept it.
• Still no comfy but glittery shoes for the wedding.
• I've gone from an interesting pirate's lurch to a full-on waddle.

Gotta end on a good note:

• With perfect timing, we entered the restaurant where we semi-feted the happy new couple just as the sky turned black and the hail fell down and we left just as it stopped.
• I got my doctor's blessing to attending the wedding after all.
• In a few days, I'll be watching my baby sister get married. Yay!

Just waking up in the morning gotta thank God

I don't know but today seems kinda odd

No barking from the dogs, no smog

And momma cooked a breakfast with no hog

I can't believe, today was a good day

Started the morning by walking outside to a beautiful, sunny, warm spring day. The birds? They were seriously chirping. The sun? Hard core shining. I got onto the Metro and whether it was because I wasn't wearing an belly-concealing coat and scarf or not, this adorable 14 year old looked at me and actually got up and offered me his seat. Yay!

When I got to work and made my trek up the breath-stealing hill, I paused to get my badge out of my bag and an older gentlemen actually got in front of me to hold the door open for me. Yay!

At lunch, I went to the cafeteria and saw the cook pull out a fresh batch of hot, crispy french fries. I grabbed a bunch and sat outside in the sunshine for an hour with my buddies. Yay!

By 4:00, I completed enough work to get a tidy little bonus for the end of the quarter, so I called up TP to make a date. We met at the Cherry Blossoms, had Thai food for dinner, and cuddled on the couch while watching The Office. Yay!

Eight months down, eight weeks to go. In that time, I have to:

• Finish packing up the rest of the clutter in the old house and move (and by "move," I mean point to and order around others to move) it to the new house.
• Get the old house in viewing condition and plant flowers in the front to fool people into thinking that this ghetto fabulous house is more faulous than ghetto.
• Attend a two-day, all-day child-birthing class this weekend at the hospital in order to get acquainted with the digs, to run through the procedure, and, as TP put it, to learn which way of the baby is up.
• Cram in as many overtime hours at work this week to tack onto my maternity leave in May.
• Finish watching The Constant Gardener and The Squid and the Whale before potentially cancelling Netflix since they have me on "the throttle list" but may reconsider when we move and fool them into thinking that we are new customers.
• Go with LB to the salon to get our brows in wedding-day-condition and hope that they don't get jacked up.
• Watch season one of Lost on dee-wee-dee.
• Pay taxes, bills, real estate agent, and movers.
• Participate in LB's civil wedding in town to be followed by LB's religious wedding back home.
• Turn in some schedule at work detailing my time off: vacation, sick, compensatory, maternity (without pay - stupid government), and possibly FMLA (also without pay - stupid government).
• Contacting everyone and everything to alert them to our change of address.
• Set up some sort of internet and/or cable connection at the new house.
• Try to jam a queen-sized bed into a full-sized room for when Mom and Dad come to stay with us.
• Organize the baby's stuff which, as of now, takes up most of the upper level of the new house.
• Oh yeah, and that other stuff: laundry, groceries, eat, sleep, work, play . . .

*thunk*

Avast! With all the goings-on above, I didn't find out about this until too late. Shiver me timbers!

Mabrook Madness!

• To Sensai Sanchez on the birth of her adorable baby boy - may they both be happy, healthy, and hankerin' for ice cream
• To Najm on his engagement to a wonderful, wacky woman - may they both live close to me so they can babysit and have savage night at a moment's notice
• To LB and Gunnar on their upcoming nuptials - may they both live close to me (see above) and bring me back something rockin' from Italy
• To TP on his new house - may it be filled with happiness and harmony
• To the wee one for turning around and facing the right direction - may you come into a world of light and laughter
• NEW ADDITION: To Sufisticate for tricking some sucker into marrying him - may you find a good job in DC (note, VA does not = DC) and (see above).

This time last year, I was kickin' it in Finland (and by "Finland," I mean the Embassy of Finland). This year, TP's function was held at the Canadian Embassy. Not only were there no pony chairs upon which to sit, no fancy spread, and no dessert, the place strongly resembled a high school gymnasium, sans basketball nets and teen sweat. And here I was all set to try out some poutine - described here as repulsive and delicious. Well, Canucks? What say you?

Moving Day Reprisal

I'm too sleepy, back-achey, and stuffed up to write any pseudo-poetry this time, but rest assured, packing days have begun again and it has its joys (finally get to throw away some stuff) and its pains (trying not to lift any heavy boxes and let my crew do the heavy work, but it's in the way!). With the warm weather and sunshine comes the nefarious pollen to join forces with the evil dust to destroy me. That's one less tissue box we have to move because I've run right through it.

Still, it's such a relief knowing that our days in CoHi (where we are bookended by liquor stores) are numbered and we are moving back to AdMo (where we might be around the corner from a coming-soon Harris Teeters). It's also immensely satisfying to clutter up the new house with all of the luggage (filled with summer clothes), the books (to be arranged on the bookcases when they arrive), and the baby shower gear (which can take up an entire room by itself). We are leaving the heavy items - beds, dressers, couches - for the movers (and maybe Najm) for when we sell our OTHER house (look at me, Miss Moneybags with TWO houses in DC). Thanks for all of your help, LB and Gunnar. Two Amys tonight on me. Oops, closed because of a water main break.

Make that Cactus Cantina. Twenty minute wait just to get a beeper?

Nope, how about Cafe Deluxe? Closed.

Try Again. Angelico's? Closed.

Head back to Cleveland Park then. Indique? 30 minute wait. On a rainy Sunday night.

Sixth time's a charm. Alero's it is.

Happy Birthday, Cybermom!

To celebrate your birthday, we took a half day off from work, bought a house, and took your cousin out to dinner for *his* birthday! Hope you had a wonderful day. :)

The Good: Mom's home cookin', finding fancy clothes that fit me, listening to Nanaji's classic rambles (whether directly by him or by someone else imitating him), seeing the family, and joining in on destroying the Godiva Tower all weekend long.

The Bad: Going from the airport shuttle to the airplane only to turn around and be sent back to the airport because the plane had no power, waiting around for an hour, and getting called back to board the allegedly powered up plane at the time about which we were supposed to have landed.

The Ugly: My feet swelling up to unbeliewable proportions from the party high heels and my fingernails chopped and roont because the jackhole at L.A. Nails mixed up "French Manicure" for "French Tips."

Ooh-wee-ooh-wee-ooooooohhhh (wah wah wah) . . .

I guess it has been two years since the last time because I was once again summoned for jury duty. I just got back from spending eight boring hours at the courthouse and the only thing I have to show for it is a measly $4.00 for transportation reimbursement. Well, $4.00 and a few highlights:

• On my way to my car, I began the day by being approached by a huffing and puffing Salvadoran woman toting a vacuum cleaner and bucket of cleaning supplies and asking me "wheech way to EEErving?" When I finally understood she meant "Irving Street," and pointed up the hill and mentioned "a few blocks up," her face just crumpled in misery. She explained that she was supposed to clean someone's house and, instinctively, I asked, "do you want me to give you a ride?" She gratefully accepted and we spent the next few minutes getting her supplies into the trunk and discussing along the way, "ooh, how far!" and "ooh, it's so cold!"
• On my way to the courthouse, I stopped for a cup of hot chocolate which was a brilliant idea on my part because when I got to the courthouse, the line to get through security was going out of the door. I was probably 30th in the slow-moving line and did I mention how "ooh, it's so cold" today?
• In the jury room, I sat by the filmy window to enjoy what little sun there was to enjoy while the clerk popped in part 8 of Ken Burn's 9-part series, "The Civil War." I listened to (of course) Morgan Freeman narrate parts of the tale while I gazed outside at the traffic and peds. Why, I asked myself, did that cabbie just double park, get out of his cab, unbuckle his belt to tuck in his shirt, rezip and rebuckle right out on the street before making an illegal U-turn through traffic? Oh yeah. DC.
• At lunch, I grabbed a sammich from Cosi and ate it in the dismal courthouse cafeteria because there was nary a spot to sit at the restaurant.
• Back in the jury room, the clerk read out a list of people who had not checked in. One old man raised his hand and asked why he was not on the list. The clerk explained that he wasn't on the list because he had checked in. He raised his voice and angrily announced, "but I want to be checked out!" I, along with my fellow jurors, was astounded to hear him then rant: "I am 72 years old! I'm sick! I am no small chicken! Why do I have to keep coming here? I was evil when I was young! I am more evil now! I am worse than the devil! The Bible says 'judge not lest ye be judged' so I can't judge nobody! Where is my check?" After he was asked to step outside, the room was filled with nervous laughter and jokes. Best among them: "Where do you think he went to lunch?" "According to Charlie Daniels, The Devil Went Down to Fuddruckers."
• At 2:30, another batch of jurors left to perform their civic duty but I was among those who had to remain until the last judge decided whether or not he needed a jury. To pacify us, the clerk popped in part 9 of "The Civil War." We just got to an interesting part about someone accusing a politician of dressing in women's clothing when the last of us were called. Alas and alack, I was among them.
• After sitting through THE most inefficient voir dire in a hot, stuffy room, only half of the jurors had been interviewed and it was nearing 5:00 p.m. When the court reporter came out of the secret room and by her mere presence implied that we might be getting let go, the pens began clicking throughout the rows like crickets coming out at dusk and legs began bouncing as though everyone was engaging in traditional Greek grape-stomping activities. Rather than keep us for another hour or call us back tomorrow, the judge let us all go and NOBODY was chosen in the end.
• I trudged back upstairs to claim my $4.00 and get the proof that I served. Hopefully, it will be longer than another two years before they come knocking on my door again. And now, I sleep.

Item No. 1: I know it's tomorrow, but Happy Birthday, H-Biddy!!! Can't wait to see you in April (or maybe sooner?) and can't wait for you to see me and mah bellay. Here's your prezzie.

Item No. 2: Extry, extry, read all about it! Article written by my cousin flexing his writing chops on the subject of the Danish cartoons.

Item No. 3: Gojira, you have no idea how lucky you are. It looks like the fierce wind blew open the neighbor's gate again and now there are no dogs to be seen or, more importantly, to be heard. Ye'll sleep well tonight, lassie.

Item No. 4: Happy bridal shower, LB! Mmmmm, Lebanese Taverna.

Holy Krakatoa! I fainted on the Metro today! I was sitting there, minding my own beeswax, reading the Post Express, when a wave of dizziness and heat overcame me. I took off my scarf, unbuttoned my coat, and leaned forward but could not get comfortable or shake the pretty spirals and bursts of black from my eyes. As we approached the next station, I waited for the train to come to a stop and planned to get out and lay down somewhere (I wasn't going to be picky). I leaned my head against the window as the train slowed down and the next thing I knew, I was at the airport. I was only out for about 3 minutes or less, but it was crazy trying to come out of it: like a swimmer struggling to break the surface of water above. By the time I lifted my heavy eyelids and looked around, I realized I was still on the train. In the brief but unexciting interim, I had traveled one whole stop, dropped my umbrella, and cooled off. So, like any typical daughter-of-a-doctor (flashback of me running out of my room with four of my toes clearing the door jamb and my pinkie toe staying behind and Dad telling me that my pinkie toe was only bruised even though it was clearly pointing in a completely perpendicular position with my other toes), I rested for a bit and then continued on to work.

No worries (*looks pointedly in cybermom's direction*), I'm totally fine. LB made me call the doctor's office to make sure it was nothing severe (it wasn't) and I did some research on my own (looks like the combo of being slightly anemic, being over-layered, and possibly not eating enough was the culprit). There's nothing to be concerned about but it was certainly a surprise. I haven't fainted in quite a while and I forgot how out-of-body-like an experience it was. Other times include, but are not limited to, fainting at Hajj right on my face, fainting in a movie theater during a midnight screening right in a filthy college bathroom, and fainting in the hospital pre-appendectomy. Good times. Good times.

I went for my monthly doctor's appointment last week and everything is ship shape. After waiting for half an hour, I had to take a glucose screening test which involved me guzzling down a small bottle of sugary liquid (mine was fruit punch flavored) in under five minutes and then sitting around for an hour (reading, sighing, and surreptiously glancing over to compare belly sizes of my fellow waiting room denizens) before getting my blood drawn to see how well my body processes sugar. Clearly, these people do not know that one of the few things I can do well is process sugar:





mmmmmm . . . doughnuts.

(via upyernoz.)

If you want to see yourself as a Simpsons character, go here. If you want to see TP as a Simpsons character, go here.

I've lived in DC or thereabouts for 10 years now and am a veteran Metro rider. I've done the early morning long haul from Shady Grove to Capital South (where the driver would sing "DU-pont CIRRRRcle!" every time we reached that stop), the crowded briefcase-and-newspapers-open-wide-obstacle course from Cleveland Park to McPherson Square (where I would walk by the White House every morning on my way to work), the short stint from Woodley Park to Bethesda (and that hella long flight of escalators), and the current 45 minute trek from U Street to King Street (where at least I get a view of the beautiful Potomac River every morning and evening). But never, NEVER, have I had someone fall on me. I mean FALL RIGHT ONTO ME. Until the other day.

An older woman boarded the train and passed up some very choice empty seats before deciding that she wanted to sit right next to me. Laden down with a designer purse, an umbrella, and an enormous duffle bag that was about 2/3rds her own size, she slowly made her way down the aisle. She started to arrange herself before sitting down but then the train lurched forward and she lurched backwards - right into my lap, which was already full with my own bag, my book, and my belly. She apologized profusely and I automatically forgave her, but seriously, people, when you get on the train and see an empty seat, take it. I know you want to sit right next to me, but you can admire me from afar too. In fact, that's an even better view! I need to start commuting with a dummy just to avoid getting crushed.

Got tagged by Professor Ushi:

UNIQUE
1. Nervous habits : biting the inside of my cheeks
2. Are you double-jointed? No so much double as possibly missing a joint in my thumbs
3. Can you roll our tongue? Aye
4. Can you raise one eye brow at a time? The left moreso than the right.
5. Can you blow spit bubbles? I could at one time but haven't tried it lately.
6. Can you cross your eyes? Yes, and I can also freakily uncross one eye slowly while the other eye remains noseward. I think I learned that from my grandfather.
7. Tattoos? No
8. Piercings? Yes
9. Do you make your bed daily? Kinda

CLOTHES
10. Which shoe goes on first? Right
11. Speaking of shoes, have you ever thrown one at anyone? Not to my recollection
12. On an average, how much money do you carry? Why, are you planning to jack me?
13. What jewelry do you wear 24/7? Wedding, engagement, and ear rings.
14. Favourite piece of clothing? Pajamas
15. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? Twirl
16. Have you ever eaten spam? No, but I know the Monty Python song dedicated to it by heart
17. Do you use extra salt on your food? No, my Dad would kill me.
18. How many cereals in your cabinet? One - Honey Bunches of Goats.
20. What's your favourite fastfood restaurant/chain? Chipotle.
21. Do you cook? Aye

GROOMING
22. How often do you brush your teeth? Twice a day
23. Hair drying method? Towel and then air dry
24. Have you ever colored/highlighted your hair? No - man, my answers are boring.

MANNERS
25. Do you ever swear? Rarely - I like to make up my own swear words
26. Do you ever spit? When the occassion warrants it

FAVOURITE
27. Animal - Robot pirate monkeys.
28. Food - Yes
29. Month - September
30. Day - Thursday because the next day is Friday followed by the weekend
31. Cartoon - Yes
32. Shoe brand - Ecco
33. Subject in school - English
34. Color - Black
35. Sport - Power-napping
36. TV shows - Yes
37. Things to do in the spring - Go for walks and admire the bloomage.
38. Things to do in the summer - Travel
39.Things to do in the fall - Bust out the sweaters but not the coats
40. Things to do in the winter - Get validation from the news that it's a snow day
41. In the CD player - Electric Version by The New Pornographers
42. Person you talk most on the phone with - Three-way tie among LB, TP, and Mom
43. Reading - Currently: Fargo Rock City by Chuck Klosterman.
44. Do you regularly check yourself out in store windows/mirrors? No
45. What color is your bedroom? Beige this month; yellow next month.
46. Do you use an alarm clock? Yep, tuned to NPR
47. Window seat or aisle? Window - especially b/c the aisle seat is more prone to accidents (i.e. luggage falling from the overhead compartment and onto your head or shoulders, flight attendants hurtling through the aisles with the metal cart and right into your foot or knee, and tomato juice splashing on to you as it is handed to the window seat patron)
48. What's your sleeping position? I'm like a rotisserie chicken, I spin around and around
49. In hot weather, do you use a blanket? A sheet
50. Do you snore? No
51. Do you sleepwalk? No
52. Do you talk in your sleep? Sometimes while I'm about to fall asleep but someone (*looks in TP's, LB's, and Gojira's direction*) is still talking to me, I'll respond but really I'm asleep and have no idea what I just said.
53. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? No
54. How about with the light on? No
55. Do you fall asleep with the TV/radio on? I can but I don't deliberately do so.
56. Last interesting person you met? I don't meet people

***UPDATE***

The sheer arrogance and gall of this chick astounds me (plus, the lack of her grasp of the difference between "sow" and "sew" is annoying). Welcome to "Lawyers Behaving Badly":

Dear Attorney ______, At this time, I am writing to inform you that I will not be accepting your offer. After careful consideration, I have come to the conclusion that the pay you are offering would neither fulfill me nor support the lifestyle I am living in light of the work I would be doing for you. I have decided instead to work for myself, and reap 100% of the benefits that I sew. Thank you for the interviews.

Dianna _____, Esq.

________________________________________________________

Dianna -

Given that you had two interviews, were offered and accepted the job (indeed, you had a definite start date), I am surprised that you chose an e-mail and a 9:30 PM voicemail message to convey this information to me. It smacks of immaturity and is quite unprofessional. Indeed, I did rely upon your acceptance by ordering stationery and business cards with your name, reformatting a computer and setting up both internal and external e-mails for you here at the office. While I do not quarrel with your reasoning, I am extremely disappointed in the way this played out. I sincerely wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.

- Will ____

________________________________________________________

A real lawyer would have put the contract into writing and not exercised any such reliance until he did so. Again, thank you.

________________________________________________________

Thank you for the refresher course on contracts. This is not a bar exam question. You need to realize that this is a very small legal community, especially the criminal defense bar. Do you really want to start pissing off more experienced lawyers at this early stage of your career?

________________________________________________________

bla bla bla

Hunker down, kids. Here comes the snow. Good thing we have the following to keep us occupied:

• Watching The Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill
• Drinking hot chocolate from the snootiest of snooty places in Paris
• Filling up empty boxes with some books in anticipation of the big move
• e-browsing for baby gear and related accessories
• Periodically checking outside to see if the alleged snow fall will reach the levels of last year
• Responding to e-mails that have been "kept as new" for a week or more
• Taking frequent naps interspersed with some Olympic sports critiques ("Honestly, I don't see what athletic skills the luge requires at all. ZZzzzzzzz").