Top Five Top Five:
Top Five Typical Pakistani Inappropriate Comments Made
- "The government doesn't pay their employees very much, do they? How much do you make?"
- "How much weight have you gained?"
- "You should wax your arms; it's your wedding day!" (response: "no, I don't think so.") "Yes, you should wax your arms."
- "Every time I see you, you are eating."
- "I didn't get a wedding invitation. Where and when is it?"
Top Five Ailments
- Achy-breaky back
- Ribs crushed in the attempt to wear pre-pregnancy lengha above 8 month pregnant belly
- No rest for the wicked because in order to spend time with the grandfathers, you have to be up at 6 a.m. and in order to hang with the cousins, you have to be up until 2 a.m.
- Diabetic coma after eating all the food and sweets and the snacks that Cybermom is notorious for scattering throughout the house
- Marshmallow toes from flying and standing so much
Top Five Lessons Learned
- Don't get nails done with LB because you will inevitably get the bad guy
- Don't let Aunty Yaz sit in a rickety chair
- Don't tell Nanaji you will bring 4 of the Harry Potter books to him unless you actually have them in hand
- Don't park your van in the soggy grass the evening after a tornado warning and hard rain
- Don't get a sari blouse that closes with tiny hooks that are supposed to hang onto teeny bits of thread but don't
Top Five Foods Had
- Dehi Vada
- Wedding cake
- Big, juicy dates that you can eat with a knife and fork
- Goat meat
Top Five Moments of the Wedding Weekend
- The Qs and O Bro's comedy routine
- Noozle's singing "Summertime" just for LB
- All of LB's friends in one place laughing, eating, and enjoying themselves
- The dancing at the mehndi and when the music kept stopping and starting, hearing Aunty Yaz's exclaim during one of the moments of silence in her piercing voice "SOMETHING'S WRONG!"
- Gunnar's maiyoun dancing and wedding speech