Stuck Between Stations

I just returned from my cousin's wedding in Georgia where the food flowed freely, the laughter was unconfined, and the hulla gulla was in full force.  It's quite a different experience participating in a shaadi when you have kids, especially when both of them are two and under.  At LB's wedding, ZP was still just a massive 9th month mound in mah belly so although my movements were slow, at least they were free.  At my cousin's wedding in Islamabad, ZP was on the loose but under the watchful eye of TP, LB, KG, and everyone else while AP was just a reasonably-sized 6th month mound in mah belly.  This one, however, had me and anyone I could convince to help running around to care for them while I simultaneously tried to be a part of the festivities as much as I could.  I found myself straddling two worlds:

On the one hand, I was in the "Aunty" category.  On the plus side, I had a valid reason for not hitting the dance floor because I was trying to keep an eye on ZP busting his moves but hopefully not busting his head.  I was excused from heavy labor such as "bring the coffee table up from the basement and put it on the truck" or "decorate the entire tent with the yellow and turquoise streamers" because I had to be available for AP duty at a moment's notice.  I was unfettered by propriety and was confident enough to sneak an entire raspberry chocolate cheesecake out of the freezer during the middle of the mehndi so that my cousins, my mother, and I could dig into it before it was all gone or forgotten.  On the negative side, I missed out on the shoe-stealing tradition because I had to leave early to put the kids to bed.  I couldn't put mehndi on my hands because I had to have them free to grab/carry/wrestle ZP to the ground and lasso him up when needed (although I didn't see any opportunity to do so anyway, so just as well).  And I couldn't take as many pix as I wanted to because my attention was constantly divided between the parties and my duties.

On the other hand, I still seem to be in the "kid" category.  I was in charge of matching up sets of churiyan (bangles) for the guests (this post was previously held by a 13 year old).  I was giggling maniacally with my cousins by the pool and at the wedding about the stupidest but funniest stuff as we kept trying to outwit each other or make increasingly absurd comments about the guests/family/everything.  "Line thee, cross ho gai."  I still got a fashion critique about my outfit from an older aunty which was completely unnecessary but so predictable.  

So where do I fall in the spectrum?  Am I the aunty who maintained a lengthy conversation about threading versus waxing or child-rearing while the others were doing chores?  Or am I the kid lugging in 50 bags of groceries while a perfectly capable and healthy couple of young men are lounging around reading magazines or napping?  I guess I am both.  Jack of all trades, master of none.  A chameleon who can blend into any crowd.  In the end, I am, and always will be, "Baji."  The title allows me to boss people around but still (hopefully) be fun to be around.  The title grants me access to all doors and groups.  The title suits me.  Don't you think?


Anjum (barsaat) said...

you are and will always be, BAJI! =) the most awesomest baji ever.

yasmine said...

you are my MOST FAVORITE BAJI IN THE WORLD. with capslock and multiple exclamation points!!!!!!!

no, seriously, i think i may have mentioned this before, years and years ago, but you're - as far as i can recall - the first person i've ever called 'baji.' and i felt like i had already met you even before we really met in DC last summer.

i lowve you.
i second anjum: totally the awesomest baji!


that is all.

lil b said...

it's nice to be in the middle, you can pull the "aunty/mom" OR the "kid" card as you see fit!

Zog mom said...

I love reading your blog and gaining access to your life and your world. Superb writing!

shaheen said...

YEP, definitely, ditto what anjum and yasminay said... I don't call people baji OFTEN, hahaha but it's interesting how you've gained the respect of a baji from me for the first time meeting you! hehe now THAT's talent. Neither aunty-ish nor kiddish, just a happy mediummm.. yayyyy!!


and where's this highfive and headtilt? AND OMG I HAVEN'T BEEN HERE IN LIKE 3 YEARS!! surry about that lass, but i do love the yellow *headtilt*

Owl said...

Baji is definitely THE BAJ. It is the most awesomest person to be, cuz you can bring the smackdown if you so like, and we betta recognize cuz you're wise, and you can lead the way in mischief, cuz you're the coolest cat around.

baj said...

awww, you guys RULE!!! thx so much for the lowve. you've totally made my day/week/month. tight hugs, high fives, and head tilts all around!!! *mwah*! now, go do this and go do that and get me some chai or coffee and sit here and play scrabble with me!

Ayesha said...

it makes so happy that you make time for yourself and post tidbits about you and familia in a non-boring style. Being a mom is NOT easy at all..but you are doing it with such style and in a joyous way.

I am pretty sure you'll be always be our fun baji no matter which station of life you'll be.

yay for baji!

(PS: I have never called anyone baji either..because..um ..i was so tall. Even on the day i was born, i looked like "baji" of six months olds :| )

upyernoz said...

at least it wasn't the other georgia. now that would have been an exciting trip!

hey and do all of your family's wedding take place during crises involving russia? if i remember correctly the beslan school seige took place during your wedding.

baj said...

thx, aysh! and if you really were as tall as that tower, i'd probably call you baji too! ;)

up - i'm just glad that the last wedding we went to was over and done with so that we could leave the country before martial law/ state of emergency set in.