Attention all DC residents planning on getting a DC Marriage License!!!

GEORGETOWN UNIVERSITY HOSPITAL SUCKS!

So get this. One of only eight states in the union (and DC is not even a state which brings up the whole taxation without representation issue which is for another blog entry another time), DC requires its residents to undergo a pre-marital blood examination prior to applying for a marriage license. I mosey on into Georgetown University Hospital (bastages!), get my blood drawn, pay fifty bucks, wait around for a few days, and go pick up the results. You'll all be happy to hear that I am disease-free. When I ask where the "DHR 366" card that is supposed to accompany the results is, I am told that the DC government no longer provides those little blue cards to Georgetown (jerkhats!) anymore and that there is no need.

"Really? But on DC's website it says that it is required."
"Yes, that must be outdated information. DC doesn't sent those cards to us anymore. Georgetown no longer issues those cards."
"Uh. Ok."

Today, TP and I went downtown (down to Chinatown!) to file for the marriage license. Guess what little blue DHR 366 card was required after all. We had to lose our place in line (never a fun thing to do in a federal building), trek over to the Municipal Center next door (security stop #3), and request that little blue card (which I wanted to rip into shreds at that point). But wait! No cash? Check or money order only? While TP ran to the Post Office at the Department of Labor to get a money order, I found out that when DC started charging $10 for each card, Georgetown (fargin' iceholes!) stopped offering them but never told its patients that the card is still mandatory in order to get the marriage license. I fumed, I called Georgetown (rassin' frassin' no-good, lily-livered, moth-eaten varmints!) to ask politely that they stop lying to their patients, and I got no satisfaction out of it. I was furious. Then, I was just tired. Then, I was sleepy and a little hungry. We went back to the Superior Court, got our paperwork in order, and got the hell outta Dodge.

Still, I suppose any day I don't have to use my A.K. I gotta say it was a good day.