Note to self: when attending the office "holiday" party (which everyone knows is really a Christmas party, the fact of which is reinforced by the gianormous X-mas tree towering in the lobby of our government facility), try not to cram as much cheesecake, whipped-cream "Death By Chocolate," cookies, cheese, mashed potatoes, brownies, cupcakes, and fudge in one sitting; instead, try to space it out over the course of the day.