Attention. Attention.
Parental units are arriving in T-minus six days.
Synchronize all watches.
Operation Clean Sweep has been initiated.
All floors must be mopped and all carpets must be vacuumed.
Stack and arrange all boxes so as to appear as inconspicuous as possible.
Contain and sedate all dust bunnies.
Mess hall and latrine must be spotless.
Replace all filters in the vents and if possible, repair all gaping holes in the ceiling.
Sawdust in your lungs? Walk it off!
Laundry must be washed and folded neatly - failure is not an option.
Secure bottle of Windex and/or Pledge and wipe down the oven, the countertops, tables, and behind the ears.
Perform any other task necessary to give the illusion that this is not a place of squalor.
Repeat, this is not a place of squalor.
Stand by for further instructions.
That is all for now.

Dictated by General T. P. Bossy Boots