"Good evening, Ms. . . . uh . . . Hwowrsha?"

Normally, I automagically delete any forwarded emails that have nothing to do with my actual friends and family. I can't stand the threats (forward this to ten of your friends or these baby kittens will die), the rumors (you'll get breast cancer if you use antiperspirant!), the general inanity (look at these weird pictures of the Madonna on a piece of toast!). But today I got one that appeared helpful and potentially satisfying. Or so I thought. I can't stand telemarketing calls (I know I may be alone in this but I stand firm on the matter). Sometimes, I am polite and say, "thanks but I'm not interested and please take my name off of your call list goodbye" and hang up. Sometimes, I hand the phone over to ZP or AP who are delighted to take the call. These tips seemed so clever and made me rub my hands together Mr. Burns' style. Good old www.snopes.com ruined my glee but does provide the real tips. Please forward this to your loved ones or they will get bitten by mosquitoes.