REALTOR®

Today, a fellow trademark examiner asked me for some advice about an application I had refused based on the fact that REALTOR® is a registered trademark and therefore this person (who was not the National Association of Realtors) could not have it. When she called in a rage to have me explain each and every problem that was wrong with the application, I did so. She then demanded her money back. When I advised her that once the filing fee has been paid and an attorney has reviewed it, there is no refund, she decided to write a letter to the Commissioner For Trademarks. The walk down memory lane was so enjoyable that I thought I'd share the applicant's response with you for your viewing pleasure:

Dear Sir or Madam:

Please review your attorney's denial of this trademark and then return my application fee to me promptly. The reasons she gave were absolutely invalid.

By the sheer number of attorneys that contacted me wanting to represent me in this matter, it is obvious that you gave out my information without my authorization. Is this just another government scam to forward the American Bar Association's lobby? How disgusting. I will turn this matter over to my congress woman, Hilary [sic] Clinton to expose your corrupt practices if my money is not returned. Shame on you for robbing the small business owners of this country. Organizations like yours are why the American public deeply mistrusts our government!!!

When I realized what you were doing. I immediately withdrew the application, so please give back my much needed money. You have spent no time or effort on my behalf, so this should not be a problem, if you're honest.