12.31.2008

Hoppy Gnu Ears

This New Year's Resolution, hereafter referred to as "The Rez," is made on December 31, 2008 between Baji and The Baby New Year.

Subject to the terms and conditions as set forth herein, Baji resolves and The Baby New Year hereby accepts Baji's resolution to perform services described herein from December 31, 2008 to December 31, 2009.

1. Baji's obligations:
In return for the compensation noted under "Compensation," Baji voluntarily agrees to perform services for The Baby New Year as described below:
(a) Get more sleep
(b) Get more kids potty trained
(c) Get more exercise
(d) Archive old family photos
(e) Document and update prior travelogues
(f) Roll over IRAs into current employment scheme
(g) Buy low and sell high
(h) Move to a location with more bathrooms throughout the house and fewer homicides in the back yard
(i) Play more Rock Band
(j) Organize the basement, the bedrooms, the brain
(k) Refrain from new purchases of books until the books on the "to be read" shelf (see addendum attached hereto) have been read . . . or at least cracked open. Caveat: the term "new" includes "used" books but does not include books that have already been purchased and are on the way.

2. Compensation
In full consideration of all services performed by Baji as described in The Rez, The Baby New Year will cut Baji a break here and there for completion of assigned tasks. Baji shall be exclusively responsible for the payment of all taxes incidental to the compensation paid for services performed, including but not limited to federal and state income, sales, or use taxation.

3. Standards of performance
Baji is hereby held to a standard of reasonable care and in the event that Baji does not complete or breaks the above referenced resolutions, The Baby New Year will determine the damages on a case-by-case basis but in all instances shall cut Baji some slack.

4. Compliance with law
Baji's performance of services under The Rez shall be in compliance with all applicable laws or regulations of the federal, state, local, galatic, and intergalatic government.


5. Modification of contract
No waiver or modification of The Rez or of any covenant, condition or limitation herein shall be valid unless presented in writing and signed by both parties or, in the presense of at least one (1) witness, agreed to with a wink and a nod.

6. Severability
All covenants contained herein are severable, and in the event of any being held invalid by any competent court, The Rez shall remain intact except for the omission of the invalid covenant.

7. Choice of law
It is the intention of both parties that all suits that may be brought arising out of, or in connection with The Rez will be construed in accordance with and under and pursuant to the laws of the District of Columbia.

8. Entire agreement
This contract contains the complete agreement concerning the services to be performed by the Baji and supersedes all prior agreements or understandings, written or unwritten. By signing The Rez, both parties acknowledge that they have read this contract, understood its terms, including the release, have had an opportunity to have legal counsel review this agreement, and have voluntarily accepted its provisions.

Executed this thirty-first day of December, 2008
/Baji/

/The Baby New Year/

Addendum
In reference to Section 1(k) of The Rez, the following photograph is made of record and may be amended from time to time.



13 comments:

fathima said...

this is so much win, especially the bookshelf. i've been reading A Suitable Boy for years now (literally). i should pick it up again, except i think i'll need to Coles Notes the first third of it that i finished lo these many moons.

baj said...

i swear, i think i've started the first chapter of 'a suitable boy' about 5 or 6 times now but something or the other always came up. it's not that i'm averse to heavy tomes (one of my fave books is the meaty 'the adventures of kavalier and clay'). i don't know what it is.

good luck on getting your internets up and torrenting again!

wayfarer said...

lol at the homicides in the backyard. :-)

I've yet to pottytrain anyone yet. Attempted yes. Failed twice. Spring it is. I need to take that oath of the bookshelf.

sophister said...

TaqwaCores is Crass and Absurd, in a non-"Absurdist" way. Really, it should not even be read. Caveat: I have read many excerpts of the book, but not the entire book. And, this is coming from a former punk rocker.

baj said...

way - you have a legitimate work-related reason for having more books than you can handle! also, alas, the homicide thing wasn't me just being cute. although i am that too. ;)

soph - gah! thanks for the warning! i'm going to un-order it and i'll just wait for it to appear at the li'bary or something.

wayfarer said...

lol. i know you weren't being funny but you still were. I have to admit...taqwacores was pensive at times but it was pretty crass. I would have sent you my copy- I got rid of it recently. I don't rid of a lot of books but i did this one for only that reason. It was interesting too though at times.

wayfarer said...

try paperbackswap.com - that site rocks.

baj said...

drat! it hasn't shipped yet but they aren't letting me cancel b/c i bundled it with another order to get the free shipping (canjoose!).

off to check out paperbackswap!

Osman said...

this is a great post. i have 'on beauty' on my to read list as well.

i'm keeping my resolution simple so that i have a better chance of success. last year: drink more water. done.
this year: improve my posture...

wayfarer said...

eh, it's still worth a read. I really liked parts of it... you'll see. I am glad i read it, well sort of, there's just parts that stick out in my mind still that i'd rather not. Kind of like a clockwork orange. Paperbackswap.com rocks and if you do a wish list, most books you could want eventually come. I really like that site.

sophister said...

Hey, sorry I didn't mean to mess up your order! Just my opinion is all! I should've said "really it should not be read (by me)"

baj said...

os - did you listen to the sarah vowell audio book yet? if not, put that on your list too. and yeah, i need to drink more water too. i think LB's approach of getting a lovely carafe to give you incentive to use it might help.

way & soph - it's cool, i'll probably pick it up in paperback once the hoopla dies down and i can find it for fittycent but life is short and i can think of other things to spend my well-earned money on. especially it if will give me 'clockwork orange' nightmares. i actually had to tell tp to move 'tin drum' off the bookshelf and into a box b/c everytime i saw it, i would recall the movie version of the creeptastic kid and it skeeved me out.

Osman said...

it is on my list! i've listened to two of the cds. very good. i have a road trip to ohio coming up next week, so maybe i'll finish them off them.
that is a good idea about the water. or you could get a trendy aluminum container from which to sip.
feel free to correct me if you see me slouching. i'm going to succeed [again] this year...