Just got back from a shopping trip to Whole Foods where, of course, I can't leave without dropping less than $50 when RASSIN' FRASSIN' WHAT THE SHAQ KIND OF STUPID IDIOT PUT THE WORST OF ALL CHOCOLATE BARS (honestly, who likes milk chocolate bars - not only that, but milk chocolate with puffed rice - gotta be the most boring combination ever) IN THE CONTAINER FOR THE ONE OF THE BEST OF ALL CHOCOLATE BARS (although, I must admit that I prefer this over that). Excuse me while I weep bitter tears.

My co-workers are planning a baby shower for me. I'm pleased, but uncertain about it. It was thoughtful of them and more people than I expected are eager to attend but I've never been an attention-monger and feel awkward when the spotlight is on me. Growing up, I was always the back-row-in-the-classroom type. Left of center. Part of the nerd crew. I got along with everyone, but compared to some (i.e., LB), I was not very social. I'm happy making friends with whomever happens to sit next to me, but I'm loathe to get up and introduce myself to new people. Maybe that's just slacker laziness or fear of forcing my company upon someone who does not want it, but there you have it.

So it surprised me when my co-worker called me to ask when a good day for the shower would be. I've helped her and several others cope with work and played the therapist when she has come weeping on more than one occassion. (*flashback to the days when I was working in the law firm and had a long, low black couch in my office that my Palestinian/Tunisian friend used to frequent by lying down and spilling her woes to me*). Somehow, my office has become the equivalent of the student lounge where, anytime people get bored or feel like socializing, they congregate in my office to eat snacks, chat about work or gossip, and kick back. So it's not that I don't think people don't like me (how can they resist?), it's just that I didn't think anyone would want to make an effort like this. Part of my reluctance is that because the party is for me, I'll be the center and therefore must speak to everyone, including people I don't care to make an effort to get to know better. Part of my reluctance is that because I'll be the center, so will my belly and everyone will stare at it and perhaps try to sneak a rub in (no joke, the cashier at the bagel place I sometimes stop by in the mornings saw me, greeted me, and then rubbed my belly and walked on). I don't know what it is, but perhaps with the little sleep, the lot of aches, and the anxiety of moving/selling with the unknown baby stuff looming ahead, I'm not in the mood to put on a party hat and play silly games. Ah well. At least there will be cake.

Four weeks until lift off. Is the baby's room ready? No. Is the house ready? No. Are we ready? *shrug*.

"Have you picked out a theme for the nursery?"
"Yeah, boxes."

While LB and Gunnar are cruising down the canals of Venice in a gondola, TP and I are making do with one car (not too bad, actually), trying to sell our old house (in the second stage of counter-offering with one dude right now), planting fig trees at the new house (already saw one little baby fig emerging!), and working down to the wire. In the few free moments I have when I am not packing or visiting with friends (it's not even May and visiting season has begun), I'm finally watching Lost on dee-wee-dee. It's 6:30 a.m. right now and I've been up for over an hour because it has become increasingly difficult to find a comfortable position in which to sleep. I hear last night's pizza calling me now and so away I go.

The tent has come down, the couple is wed, and the guests have gone home. The wedding was fantastic, the food delish, and now, we update!

Top Five Top Five:

Top Five Typical Pakistani Inappropriate Comments Made

1. "The government doesn't pay their employees very much, do they? How much do you make?"
2. "How much weight have you gained?"
3. "You should wax your arms; it's your wedding day!" (response: "no, I don't think so.") "Yes, you should wax your arms."
4. "Every time I see you, you are eating."
5. "I didn't get a wedding invitation. Where and when is it?"

Top Five Ailments

1. Achy-breaky back
2. Ribs crushed in the attempt to wear pre-pregnancy lengha above 8 month pregnant belly
3. No rest for the wicked because in order to spend time with the grandfathers, you have to be up at 6 a.m. and in order to hang with the cousins, you have to be up until 2 a.m.
4. Diabetic coma after eating all the food and sweets and the snacks that Cybermom is notorious for scattering throughout the house
5. Marshmallow toes from flying and standing so much

Top Five Lessons Learned

1. Don't get nails done with LB because you will inevitably get the bad guy
2. Don't let Aunty Yaz sit in a rickety chair
3. Don't tell Nanaji you will bring 4 of the Harry Potter books to him unless you actually have them in hand
4. Don't park your van in the soggy grass the evening after a tornado warning and hard rain
5. Don't get a sari blouse that closes with tiny hooks that are supposed to hang onto teeny bits of thread but don't

Top Five Foods Had

1. Dehi Vada
2. Wedding cake
3. Big, juicy dates that you can eat with a knife and fork
4. Palak
5. Goat meat
   

Top Five Moments of the Wedding Weekend

1. The Qs and O Bro's comedy routine
2. Noozle's singing "Summertime" just for LB
3. All of LB's friends in one place laughing, eating, and enjoying themselves
4. The dancing at the mehndi and when the music kept stopping and starting, hearing Aunty Yaz's exclaim during one of the moments of silence in her piercing voice "SOMETHING'S WRONG!"
5. Gunnar's maiyoun dancing and wedding speech

"So, Baji, how've you been?"
"Well, do you want the pat and generic 'I'm fine, thanks, and you?' answer or do you want the long, drawn-out melodrama?"
"Oooh! Melodrama, please!"
"So be it."

Saturday:

The good news:

• LB and I spent a nice sister's morning as we haven't done in a long time complete with perfect eyebrows, fresh "masala bagels," and Smallville.
• Our house went up for sale and even though the open house isn't until next week, we already got four interested buyers.
• Got to see Literaunty, Literuncle, and Dadaji for brunch.

The bad news:

• We didn't realize buyers were coming to the house already so we had to do a whirlwind cleaning job on the house before they did.
• That evening, TP's car got totalled by an unlicensed, uninsured driver who sped through an intersection, clipped one old lady's car and careened into TP's parked car - crushing the sides and forcing it up onto the sidewalk before it came to a stop thanks to the stone wall and the Jeep in front of it.
• We spent four hours filing the police report on the hit-and-run-and-return (the driver fled because he was scared but shame-facedly returned with his brother, the true owner of the car), and waiting for the tow truck to drag the car's carcass from off of the sidewalk and back onto the street.

Gotta end on a good note:

• We weren't in the car when the accident happened.
• We met a lot of our neighbors.
• When we turned away from the flashing lights of the cop cars, we could see the Cherry Blossom Festival's fireworks downtown.

Sunday:

The good news:

• More realtors and buyers wanted to see the house so we made ourselves scarce by going to the Admo house to water the daffodils, put some books on the shelves, and walk over to our new 'hood for some coffee and fries - breakfast of champs!
• Saw "V for Vendetta" at the Uptown (a lovely old theater which I have not visited in ages) and was pleased by it.
• I got to have a cheese-and-avacado sammich for dinner followed by pretty much a whole pint of Haagen-Dazs Raspberry Sorbet

The bad news:

• I also ate some other leftover foods for dinner which I did not nuke long enough and which returned with a vendetta at midnight in the form of a bout of food poisoning puking.
• The insurance company of the driver's brother refused to tow the car to a lot before they sent out a claims adjuster out . . . some day.
• In reading "Broken Verses," I came across an unforgivable passage where the protaganist "pushed open the door that led out to the balcony and breathed deep the carbon dioxide expelled by the plants around me."

Gotta end on a good note:

• Our new house only has one parking spot in the back so maybe it's just as well we have only one car now.
• One of the potential buyers for the house from the day before returned with her husband and baby for a second look.
• TP impressed me and won a little bit more of my undying love by washing out the garbage can (into which I expelled the contents of my stomach - careful careful! ulti hai!) with not mere soap, but peppermint-scented soap so that the second time around, at least I had a fresh scent to greet me.

Monday:

The good news:

• Lil' Baji and Gunnar got married (just the civil ceremony, folks; the big one is this weekend)!
• I got to talk to KK about books and movies and books.
• I found some inexpensive but cute pregnancy clothing to wear this weekend that has the potential for being post-pregnancy clothing too.

The bad news:

• The tow truck that was supposed to come at noon came at 11:30 instead so TP had to wait another two hours for another truck to come and scrape his car off of our road only to find out that the body shop where the car was to be deposited was run by a freak who, upon seeing the damage to the car, refused to accept it.
• Still no comfy but glittery shoes for the wedding.
• I've gone from an interesting pirate's lurch to a full-on waddle.

Gotta end on a good note:

• With perfect timing, we entered the restaurant where we semi-feted the happy new couple just as the sky turned black and the hail fell down and we left just as it stopped.
• I got my doctor's blessing to attending the wedding after all.
• In a few days, I'll be watching my baby sister get married. Yay!