Gone are the days that I would attempt to do a cartwheel on the living room sofa. Been a long time since I've jumped through a hoop made out of my own arms. I've come to terms with that. But I've always been a good walker. I hate running (the only time I can justify it is if I am chasing after something like a ball or a child or if someone is chasing after me), but I can walk until my shoes wear down. Long, purposeful steps. Ground-eating strides. Quick, bouncy lopes. No more.

Thanks to my lil' pirate, I've developed a pain where my left leg meets the rest of my body. Apparently, my ligaments are growing to support the scurvy sea-dog. So I've become even more pirate-like than ever: I have to walk favoring my right leg which makes me look like I'm pacing the deck of a ship with an uneven keel - almost as though my left leg has turned into a peg leg; I yelp out, "ARRRR!" when I have to rise from a sitting position, get out of bed, or get out of the tub; and blimey, I could nae more do a jig to save me life. To all of those who used to trail behind me as I out-paced them, I say Godspeed! (ye lousy landlubbers.)