Pandi's 'Pinions

Been a while, no? Pandi just got back from a trip to Venice, Florida and has the following 'pinions to report:

• On ZP: Even though he looks nothing like his Mommy, he travels remarkably well. His slumber during the majority of the flights, lack of explosive diapers, and simple happiness in people-watching, hanging out, and even being carried around by flight attendants made the trip much more pleasant than anyone anticipated. A+.
• On the beach: Nothing to report thanks to the stupid Red Tide warnings. F-.
• On the shopping for housewares: Target has become surprisingly expensive from what we remember it to be. Luckily, there was a Walmart right across the street. And a Home Depot. And a Pier One. None of which are conveniently located in Washington, D.C. and so seemed almost foreign to us. Also amazing: the amount of space given in the parking lots. Equally exotic: the superfriendly cashiers. The sales clerk in Target gave us a TV for $95, knocking 20% off of the sales price because there was no remote control, warranty, box, or owner's manual. B.
• On the Country Club: So snooty that they wouldn't allow us, fresh off the plane, to dine for lunch - even outside!- because we were wearing jeans and t-shirts. When we returned for dinner in the evening wearing "nice clothes," we were almost turned away again because the kitchen closes at 8 p.m. But remembering us from the afternoon and feeling guilty when it was obvious we were well-mannered, nice folks, the concierge seated us after all. C average.
• On the weather: Freakin' hot. B-.
• On southern bugs: Freakin' HUGE. F.
• On the birds: Fearless, fascinating, and fun to point out. B.
• On the sunset: Like nothing we get in the northeast - watching a big, red ball of fire sink in the sky sure is hypnotic. A.