Back from the dentist with whiter pearly-whites, a fire-engine red new toothbrush, and a clean bill of health (with a side dish of compliments on my smile . . . awwww). While I tried valiantly not to drool out of the side of my mouth during the cleaning (it's amazing how much saliva pools up under your tongue when your jaws are wide open for an extended period of time), a song kept going through my head. I remember when I was younger, there used to be a cartoon PSA that was featured in between full-length cartoons extolling the virtues of good health, education, and good hygiene. Kind of like Schoolhouse Rock, but not. One clip was about brushing your teeth and the song went like this (voiced by Scatman Crothers):

They call me Yuckmouth, cause I don't brush. No, I keep my teeth like this.
They call me Yuckmouth, cause I don't brush. How's about a little kiss?
I got some beef in my teeth and some chicken, too.
OUCH! That's a cavity. Hey, that's new!
So if you don't brush your teeth then you can too be a Yuckmouth.

Good times. Good times.