Sure, I've got a firehouse nearby with its fire engines wailing at all hours. Granted, I've got a bi-polar, hateful neighbor (we call her 'Crazy Daisy') upon whose sighting I take six flights of stairs to avoid riding in the elevator with her and risk being yelled at or attacked. Of course, I've got the streets peppered with potholes formed by godzilla, the creaky wooden floors that second as a cheap alarm system, and the rats and roaches scuttling about in the cracked driveway at night. But at least my front yard doesn't look like this.

Time for The Simpsons. Tonight's guest voice: Buffy! To be followed by the show I've come to love to hate: Alias. But before I go, here is tonight's sweet treat. Enjoy.